VIDEO: Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve Couldn't Sound More Insincere Apologizing for Cheating Scandal

It appears as if the Houston Astros' team meeting on Wednesday didn't feature any acting classes, because star players Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve didn't seem convincing at all when addressing the media regarding the team's sign-stealing scandal that's believed to have lasted from 2017-2019. As if holding a janky press conference at 9:30 a.m. ET outside in the middle of Florida wasn't enough, Bregman, Altuve and even owner Jim Crane offered up what we'd call desultory responses and "apologies."

Having fun playing with your hands, Alex? "I have some remarks I would like to share with you." Really inspiring way to kick this off. Crane, a billionaire, couldn't hire a competent publicist to make this not look like a backyard wrestling media event?

And now for Altuve!

Hands on the hips! Now we're talkin'! "We feel bad for what happened in 2017." What about 2018 and 2019, and alleged parts of 2016 we've come to learn about in recent days via anonymous scouts and executives? BUT more importantly, the Astros are determined to win another championship, because THAT'S what this is all about!

Enough of the criticism of the players. Let's see what Crane had to say.

The classic "I'm sorry for what happened." Not "I'm sorry for what we've done and what we were found guilty of doing."

Color us shocked, and the only reason is because, once again, this team had a generous amount of time to prepare for this and managed to crap the bed in every way imaginable.