Bill O'Brien's Back Yard is Probably Cursed and We Should Have Realized This All Along

The transactional clumsiness of Houston Texans head coach and de facto general manager Bill O'Brien is well documented, and that narrative has really reached its apex this offseason.

O'Brien's latest miscalculation transpired in a trade for wide receiver Brandin Cooks and his unappealing contract in a trade with the Los Angeles Rams. In return, Houston received a second-round draft pick. A neat nugget related to that travesty of a deal provides a window into what exactly is going on with O'Brien during these days of quarantine: He conducted the Cooks trade from his back yard, which is strong evidence that this specific location is beset by some kind of curse.

There can be no other explanation for the Texans' bizarrely painful offseason.

By the start, we must point to the DeAndre Hopkins debacle. You know, when O'Brien sanctioned a trade with the Arizona Cardinals and failed to attain a first-round pick? Instead, he agreed to acquire oft-injured and grossly overpaid running back David Jackson and a second-round selection.

In theory, the Texans traded away their all-world WR for a second-rounder and used that pick to acquire a lesser talented receiver who is fresh off suffering two separate concussions in 2019. Does this strongly suggest that BOB's back yard sits above an Indian burial ground, or perhaps an abandoned lead and cadmium depository?

We're just asking questions here.

Is it wrong to assume that the Hopkins deal was made in O'Brien's back yard, too? If so, there's just no going back at this point. The place is forever cursed, and will be until O'Brien is mercifully relieved of his front office responsibilities.