Donald Trump Announces Curt Schilling Considering Run for Congress in Arizona

We got another one, people!

According to President Trump, based on a report from Fox & Friends (of course, not stunning, never stunning), all fans of the Boston Red Sox may have to spend their 2020s with their heads in the sand, ignoring all political coverage for fear of damaging their precious memories of 2004.

Because our worst fears were all but confirmed on Tuesday when Trump put it out into the ether: Curt Schilling, Congressman, Arizona.

Curt Schilling, a great pitcher and patriot, is considering a run for Congress in Arizona. Terrific! @foxandfriends
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 13, 2019

Yes, the man who can't get into the Hall of Fame because he alienated his voter base by saying he wanted them all lynched (um, gaffe much?!) is now plotting out a run for congress in state in which he won the 2001 World Series (because you KNOW Massachusetts wouldn't be having one quintillionth of this).

I, personally, can't wait for the first congressional debate for a shot at grilling Schilling with the tough questions: What brand of ketchup did you cover your sock with during the '04 ALCS, sir? Was it Heinz? Was it off brand?

And, oh yeah, how can I forget? Curt Schilling defrauded a state. There are only 50 of those! States are our most precious cargo.

Reminder: Curt Schilling defrauded the state of Rhode Island out of $75M for his video game company, which he then crashed into the ground, sparking a years-long lawsuit that ultimately left the taxpayer on the hook. He's also quite transphobic and Islamophobic. https://t.co/wfxfkISJYU
— Nate Goldman (@NateGoldman) August 13, 2019

Hey, remember when Schilling was too racist on Facebook every single day, and they decided he couldn't appear publicly in the ESPN booth anymore? Now, he may be dictating public policy. The world we live in? It's great!