Dusty Baker's Quotes at Astros Introduction Are Adorable and We're So Upset He's Going to Make Houston Likable
By Jerry Trotta
The Houston Astros deserve nobody's sympathy or endorsement following their despicable sign-stealing scandal, and early indicators suggest that newly-promoted skipper Dusty Baker is going to make it difficult for MLB fans to promote their disdain for the club.
Baker was formally introduced as the team's new manager on Thursday, and his quotes were absolutely spot on. He'll quickly emerge, if he hasn't already, as a fan favorite in H-Town.
That's not the problem. Dusty's perfectly-executed introduction proves that he will make things extremely strenuous for the common, impartial baseball aficionado to root against him.
Dusty Baker on his next 10 days: "I gotta pack. Have you ever packed for seven months? That's a long time ... I gotta prune my grapes. I got work to do. I gotta see my grandchild, gotta go see my son, gotta make sure my dogs don't have ticks or worms. I got a lot to do."
— Chandler Rome (@Chandler_Rome) January 30, 2020
From the sarcasm, to setting reminders to prune his grapes, ensuring he visits relatives, and prioritizing the health of his dogs, this may go down as the greatest quote in the history of introductory managerial press conferences.
If not the greatest, certainly the most adorable, and this next snippet will only sponsor our previous claims.
Dusty Baker hopes he can help the Astros win a World Series which is a box he wants to check as a manager. pic.twitter.com/K8lntRFlYU
— Mark Berman (@MarkBermanFox26) January 30, 2020
The fact that the 70-year-old returned to the game in pursuit of a World Series ring, which has eluded him across his 22 years as an MLB manager, is amazing, and (again) makes it hard not to pull for him to get over the hump.
Dusty Baker is C A N C E L L E D pic.twitter.com/Nz1JsuvsFn
— RedskinsGraffix™ (@redskinsgraffix) January 30, 2020
Stop it, Dusty! You're supposed to make campaigning against Houston easy. Cool it with these adorable pressers, please and thank you. It's not even Spring Training yet.