Missouri State Enters a Deep Circle of Hell Amid Conflicting Art Briles and Bobby Petrino Coaching Rumors
By Michael Luciano

Fans of the Missouri State Bears were presented with two reported alternatives to fill their head coaching vacancy, and both of them are equally demoralizing.
There have been conflicting reports Tuesday evening that the FCS program is close to hiring either former Louisville head coach Bobby Petrino or former Baylor coach Art Briles, two men who became utterly disgraced over the course of their professional careers.
One outlet is reporting that Missouri State is hiring Bobby Petrino. Another is reporting that they’re hiring Art Briles. Either way, just take a shower and go to bed, Missouri State. https://t.co/lHzxGncVYx
— Dan Wolken (@DanWolken) January 15, 2020
These two options are both the darkest timeline.
Petrino once took Arkansas to a Sugar Bowl and Louisville to an Orange Bowl, but mixed in there was the fact that he ruined the Atlanta Falcons, got himself canned after a motorcycle accident unearthed a sexual harassment lawsuit and extramarital affair, and underachieved in his return to Louisville.
Briles, meanwhile, was once a brilliant offensive mind, but his blind eye towards sexual misconduct while in charge in Waco should disqualify him from ever working near children or young men ever again.
Somehow, these two could find a way back in the college ranks. It feels so wrong that it's hard to believe it's not a bad joke.
Let me get this straight: the conflicting reports out there tonight are that Missouri State is either hiring Bobby Petrino... or Art Briles?
— Joan Niesen (@JoanNiesen) January 15, 2020
So the hangup is over whether they want to be controversial and a little slimy, or totally morally bankrupt?
Missouri State, a quality program in the same Missouri Valley Conference that gave us the mighty North Dakota State, is now understood to be deciding between two authentically scummy candidates. Will they pick the adulterous motorcycle guy who went 17-9 with Lamar Jackson and 2-10 in his first year without him, or the guy who left Baylor in tatters after allowing sexual misconduct to proliferate unchecked?
Decisions, decisions.