Golden Gophers Fans Outraged to Find 'Minnesota Badgers' Gear at Target
By Sam Dunn
Imagine the horror of going to the ol' big box store to pick out a new something-something emblazoned with your team's favorite colors... only to find that those colors have been hijacked by not just another team, but a bitter and hated rival.
Well, that's precisely what happened when one unsuspecting shopper strolled into Target and discovered a new and horrible chimera of Big Ten fandom:
The Minnesota Badgers.
Oh, man. This was never gonna go over well. Devotees will note that the Minnesota Golden Gophers and Wisconsin Badgers duke it out on the football field every year for Paul Bunyan's Axe, one of the iconic trophies in all of sports. Mixing this one up is a grave, grave sin that belies passive-aggressive tight-jawed midwestern niceness.
This is extra-embarrassing becase Target is based in the Twin Cities, and they're not exactly strangers to sports -- the Twins play at Target Field, and the Timberwolves and Lynx play at the Target Center.
"Color us red. As a Minnesota-based company, we know we are home to the Gophers," the company said in a contrite official statement to Minneapolis TV station WCCO.
But...but red is the Badgers' color! Come on.
The road to forgiveness starts with admitting you have a problem. But you can bet that Wisconsin fans were buying these up like mad as soon as they realized it was an option.