Lions Bragged About Dominating Preseason Openers and Got Completely Roasted
By Adam Weinrib
Hey, let's hear it for the Detroit Lions! Even after getting relentlessly drubbed by the Patriots' fifth-stringers who basically just get paid to stretch out Tom Brady's pliability bands while he's sleeping, Matt Patricia's bunch is still 12-5 in their last 17 preseason openers, which is basically the best in the biz!
Cool brag, Lions! What a streak!
Except you forgot just one thing: absolutely nobody cares?
The preseason is meaningless, the preseason opener is meaningless, and the Lions are meaningless. The entire organization exists just to tweet graphics like this while seeing if they can figure out a way to make Kerryon Johnson want to retire after Year 3.
I guess this was a way to keep Lions fans invested prior to the Thanksgiving game? It definitely kept the masses engaged.
This is a pretty solid counterpoint.
The Lions can have as many season openers as they want (and oh-by-the-way, they got filleted on Thursday). The Bears will just continue to take regular season victories. The Packers will win Super Bowls.
If there was a postseason for the preseason, the Lions may as well be crowned the champs. Unfortunately for them, the real playoffs seem out of reach virtually every season.
Keep basking in the glory of your preseason victories, Detroit, because everyone knows when it comes down to it, the regular season Lions are a laughing stock.
50 years later, the Lions will be tweeting this exact same sentiment. Sure as the wind blows.