MLB Warns Players Not to Take Gas Station Sexual Enhancement Pills Due to Risk of Positive PED Tests

Yes, this was apparently a real memo.

Due to a string of positive PED tests in connection to cheap, over-the-counter male enhancement products, Major League Baseball has ensured their players are now in the know.

"Sexual or male enhancement products present a very real risk for drug-tested players," the memo said, "and the high likelihood for contamination or unidentified ingredients in these products underscores the importance of consuming only those products that are NSF Certified for Sport."

Per MLB, a number of these pills include anabolic steroids, which we all know to b be highly illegal under the league's drug policy. We've seen this issue pop up in other leagues, including in the NFL with wideout Golden Tate, who was suspended four games in connection with taking a fertility drug.

"We know from experience," the league memo said, "that a number of these sexual or male enhancement products -- which are sold online, at retail stores, and on the black market, both in the United States and internationally -- contain anabolic steroids and other prohibited substances."

Strange reasoning for positive drug tests is nothing new, and MLB is simply covering its tracks here for if (and probably when) a player tries to draw from this as an excuse. Now, the league can point to this written warning in their defense, and any player will still be held liable.

Now, then! Let this be the last we ever, EVER speak of this.