US Government Denies Tom Brady's 'Tom Terrific' Trademark Attempt After String of Excuses

All good things must come to an end, I guess.

Also, all bad things must come to an end. Everything ends!

After weeks (nay, months) of wading through the muck surrounding Tom Brady's utterly ridiculous attempt to trademark "Tom Terrific," a nickname no one has ever called him, the US Patent & Trademark Office has given the QB who has everything a firm "no".

BREAKING: The US Patent & Trademark office have refused Tom Brady’s filings of “Tom Terrific” citing a false connection with Tom Seaver, who has been called that for 50 years. USPTO denial uncovered by @JoshGerben. After uproar, Brady said he did it so that others couldn’t use it pic.twitter.com/tA1UG8zQQU
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) August 23, 2019

If you recall, Brady faced immediate backlash for an attempt to snag the primary nickname of Mets legend Tom Seaver, a man currently in the throes of dementia and unable to leave his home in California, even to attend the 1969 Mets' team reunion at Citi Field.

TB12 tried to defend himself, taking a stand in the nonsensical position of just trying to step in and grab the trademark so no one else could use it, an excuse akin to, "I was just holding this bong in my mouth for someone else," or, "My dog ate my stolen nickname."

Thankfully, those up on Capitol Hill blocked Brady's insolence, and so this nation is one Patriots controversy poorer on this beautiful Friday. There's still a matter of Brady stealing Cam Newton's identity on Thursday, though.

Did Tom Brady troll Cam Newton with a Cam Newton hat after beating Cam Newton? pic.twitter.com/lXxAriclg0
— 12up (@12upSport) August 23, 2019

Luckily, we don't live in a world where a declining Tom Seaver has to beg Tom Brady, a decidedly not terrific man, to use his own name.